As I see back to 2020, I saw horrible memories of being rejected, left out and broken. I saw me depressed and cried a lot in silent. Not many people knew my struggling. Few even understand. The year that I thought would be the great year since I felt I was completed, but it wasn’t at all. My foundations are weak and God showed me the real of myself when my foundations are shaken. I felt so deep and empty at the same time. The great god has fallen and the god was me.
All I saw was black clouds that surrounded me in 2020. I thought I had to run away immediately. I didn’t like the darks. I need the light. And I didn’t like the sorrow either. I need the joy. Yet, in the end, those black clouds were part of me. I embraced them and grew from them. I believe the light is in front of me and the joy never leaves. I just need to grow with faith.
Some people said 2020 was a bad year for us and I would be so affirmative. 2020 is not a good year for me. Yet, in between, I listened to great songs, watched great series and received daily grant grace from above. In 2020, I also felt unity with my family. I could spend more time with my family as I always spent time with work, my self and other coffee meeting with friends. It was good to be able to be home with them.
I could say that 2020 had his own shading, some feels devastating and vain but still others with luminous and meaningful. The world fell down and broken but the pieces are right here and He mend us all together into a grand new creature. He do everyday like it is the day-1. With Him, every day is a new beginning.
Now, as I see from 2021, I believe memories of 2020 are strong but my connections to God become greater starting from the black clouds. My faith grows stronger. I once kept believing in my own perspective but now I hold His hands and become more trusting Him. I had no idea of what 2021 would bring to my table but I guess I could make it too this year. (Since, I survived seeing my family got covid-19, I guess so LOL)
I really wish people who read this posting would have such great faith and braveness towards future. I really wish we could see from His mountain not from the catastrophic land. Because from His mountain, all we could experience is His presence and His presence are the weapon.
And as I learned from 2020, I thought it is easier to forget when we visit less good places with people we love. Or when we listen to less good songs and remember them. It turns out that all the less material never help us to less remember. Because memories are strong and the connections are stronger. Time will eventually answer.
RACAU! 
👍🏻👍🏻